Jan
27

The Thief in the Night That Steals My Sleep

Parenthood is the number one cause of insomnia.

I don’t have any medical research to back up this statement. Only personal experience. And unfortunately, I have a lot of it (and our kids aren’t old enough to drive yet!)

Coffee will delay me delay my sleep. A glass of wine too close to bedtime will disrupt my sleep. Too much screen time will make me not want to sleep.

The Thief That Steals My SleepParenthood…it steals my sleep.

In the beginning it was nighttime feedings and diaper changes. It was a hard period. It robbed all of my mental capacity (of course that’s not hard to do) and depleted my energy as I met the physical needs of our little ones.

Years later it was scary dreams and upset tummies. The interruptions were more sporadic as we transitioned from meeting their physical needs to their emotional needs.

Now, we are the proud owners of a preteen and a soon-to-be teenager and I swear it feels as if I’m sleeping less than ever before.

It’s not because of them. It’s because of me.

Instead of sleeping, I worry.

It’s a “Flavor of the Month” worry. Friends. Bullies. Grades. Attitudes. And my main struggle now is electronics and social media.

I love modern gadgets and social media. It brings many wonderful things into our lives. But with it comes a whole other avenue of danger that can distract and harm them.

I feel inadequate in many ways because no matter how hard I try to protect them, they will always be one step ahead of me when it comes to technology. They are the techie generation.

A couple of months ago we had an incident with a cyber bully. That night I didn’t sleep. One part of me was crying for my child and another part accused myself of being a loser parent for allowing them to be on the computer in the first place.

“God, what do I do? I’m never going to know enough. They will always find ways to get around any parameter that we set.”

As I prayed that night I felt God telling me: Don’t focus on finding ways to control them. Focus on praying for and preparing their hearts. Continue to guide and protect them in age appropriate ways but more importantly help them to develop their own character.

My soul was lighter as I began praying for their hearts. I was not the one to carry the burden. God would. I was to intercede for them. By doing so God began to open my eyes to the individual needs of my children’s hearts.

I sounded so simple but then worry has a way of blurring our vision.

It’s been a wonderful time of God showing me how I can be a help, not a hindrance, in Him molding the character of our children.

So, yes, I do still struggle with sleep. Worry for my children still comes in the night. But instead of fretting over their behavior, I pray for their spiritual heart and lay it at their Father’s feet.

What keeps you awake at night?

How do you handle worry when it robs your sleep?

 

 

 

 

Speak Your Mind

*