I Can’t Let Numbers Define Me

I’ve never had a good relationship with numbers. They tell me what I should have and what I don’t have or what I have too much of or what I need to lose. Even though I consider myself a positive person, numbers often have a negative effect on me.

blog photo - loserFor example, the other day I got up, weighed myself and the large numbers on our scale announced that I had gained a couple of pounds. X (imagine an obnoxious buzzer accompanying this signaling ‘strike one’). No worries, I’ve been traveling and haven’t been able to workout regularly in a while – it’s an easy fix.

So I put on my running shoes and my GPS watch and head out the door. Bad decision to wear the watch. The large numbers strapped to my wrist, accompanied by an annoying beep, reminded me – continually – that I was running slower and for a shorter distance than I had a couple months ago. X X (strike two)

No worries, I’ve been focusing on work lately, at least things are going well in this area of my life.

I showered, headed to the office and out of curiosity decided to check the stats on my latest blog. Another bad decision… X X X – three strikes – it’s official, I’m a loser.

The rest of the day I battled an internal voice telling me that I was failing in all areas of my life. The only one that I was succeeding in was my role as a pet owner. (Then I remembered that 1 of our dogs still needed 3 shots.)

Dang it – I can’t get a break anywhere!

When the unpleasant internal voice uses the numbers to beat me down, I have to remind myself that the numbers don’t define me. However, I can use them to refine me. Numbers can be a gauge that shows where I need to focus more of my attention.

I’m not a lazy bum. I’ve been working hard in one area of my life but the numbers revealed that I have neglected another. Easy fix.

I’m not in as good of shape as I was this past summer. It’s okay, my body needs a break but I can get it back going in smaller doses.

Blogs hits aren’t as high as in the past. No worries – maybe the topic wasn’t applicable for as many but I can use this info to guide me for the next one.

My dog needs his vaccines. Uh…I caught him eating out of the kitty litter the other day. If that doesn’t kill, being a couple of weeks late on his vaccines won’t either!

The internal voice that tries to beat us all down and will use whatever it can to paralyze us. But one of my favorite passages in the Bible helps me to silence it:

Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Philippians 4:8 (NLT)

Ba Bam! Take that Number Nazi!

Do numbers fuel you or paralyze you?

What tools does the obnoxious internal voice use to attack you?





  1. Laurie – so many of your blogs ring true in my ears, this one is no different! I’m constantly on myself for not measuring up in one area (or measuring too much in another) and am frustrated that I can’t keep all the trains running on time. Thanks for reminding me that the numbers can help us see where changes can be made, they don’t define us. I need all the help I can get breaking that cycle.

    • Laurie Russell says:

      Thanks so much Elizabeth! I think it’s a cycle so many of us struggle with – especially when we’re surround by so many talented people. I’m excited about your book. You’re doing an excellent job – just remember that! 🙂

      Thanks for sharing!


  2. Oh my goodness I needed to read this today! Feeling the exact same way so this was a big encouragement to me! And so happy to have found your blog! 🙂

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